The Voices in My Head

I hate the wind. I really do. I’ve only discovered two truly good uses for it…and those would be sailing ships and flying kites. I don’t have a ship…or an ocean to sail it in, and I haven’t flown a kite in a few years. I really should do that sometime soon…Anyways, other than that, wind has no good purpose. If you want to throw a Frisbee around, then the wind chooses that day or afternoon to show up. It will ruin any self-respecting big-haired Texan’s hair day, and if the wind is blowing and you’re outside it will single-handedly make your voice hoarse because you have to yell over it. Wind blows dirt, and dirt gets in eyes.
The other day the wind decided to blow 70 mph. Which isn’t that surprising in New Mexico. This particular wind decided to blow over a power-pole which left all of Capitan and the surrounding area, Lone Tree included, without power. Which is pretty lame, but its not that bad. What’s really bad is when that same electrified power-line touches dead grass causes fire. Wind plus fire is bad…wind plus anything is bad, but we covered that already. Anyways, camp life was a little bit stressed the other day as we watched the fire spread and wondered if we’d have to cancel our groups and prayed for the power to come back on so our refrigerators would come back on so that our food would stay nice. We like nice food. So, as I established above: Nothing good comes from the wind.
I just remember climbing the stairs to the top of the water-slide to see if I could catch a glimpse of the flames in the distance and praying…and that’s when I had an interesting thought:
My current circumstances felt familiar…as if it had been lived out before. In fact I was pretty sure that it had happened before.
There was this guy named Elijah…him and God were pretty tight. And one time God tells Elijah that he is going to pass by. So Elijah goes up on a mountain to wait for God to show up when a massive wind tears through the mountain, ripping rocks and trees up. After the wind there was an earthquake to thoroughly dislodge any rocks not torn up by the wind already…and finally a fire passed through leaving nothing left in its wake but Elijah to see what would come next. I can imagine the scene now…looking something like an atomic bomb had been set off. Broken boulders blackened by fire and trees poking up all around the landscape, their charred remains looking like skeletons in a graveyard. I can imagine the silence that followed…deafening and threatening. Elijah’s every breath must have been caught in his throat as he waited for what would come next…and then…a whisper came…and it drew Elijah from the crevice he’d been hiding in.
As I stood at the top of the water-slide being slammed by the winds and still only able to smell the smoke from the fire, I realized that perhaps I was experiencing a little of what Elijah did…and that’s when I felt rather than heard the whisper. It was God saying, “I’ve got it all under control.” When I went back downstairs I began to feel that it was true. I walked back to the office and called the electric company and they informed me that the power would be back on at 6. They also said that the fire had been contained and all was well. God knows what He’s doing. Its beautiful to think that God can whisper assurance and comfort to His loved ones. He is gentle and kind….
That’s when I started really thinking: What does God’s voice really sound like? If Elijah’s encounter has anything to say about it I think that perhaps we could say that God’s voice is a whisper. I like that. No matter what is happening He is there to whisper His comfort to us. Though the wind may blow, the earth may shake, and the fires rage…and the power goes out, He is there to remind us that He loves us and that He is in control.
But that’s not all God’s voice sounds like. Genesis attests to that. When God speaks, stuff happens. I really like the way Louie Giglio puts it…and this is a very rough quote, but he once said, “I don’t like it when people say they wish they could have been there at the moment of creation,” the background behind him had a close-up shot of the surface of the sun, “…because THAT--” he pointed behind him, “is what came out of His mouth when He said, ’Let there be light.’”
And its true. It says in Isaiah 55 “…my word that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty.” Sometimes God’s voice is violent and destructive. Psalm 29 talks about His voice thundering and tearing up trees and clearing forests. God isn’t any pushover.
There’s this movie called, “Dogma.” I can’t claim to remember a whole lot about the movie other than its not really Biblically correct and it’s a little (a lot) inappropriate. One thing does stick out about the movie that I find very intriguing…
In the movie there are two rebellious angels that are running around causing a ruckus, so God shows up to lay down the punishment. Now, in the movie God is a woman…which is not how HE is portrayed in the Bible…nothing against women (you’re beautiful). However, God has a messenger speak for Him, and the messenger is relaying all the charges against the angels, and the list is lengthy. Then the punishment is explained: God will speak. The two angels quivered in fear and everyone else around gasped and covered their ears (minus the two angels receiving said punishment). Then God spoke, and the two angels blew up. Literally. It was gross. The point being that God is beyond comprehension and He is powerful. When He speaks, stuff happens.
I can’t honestly claim to know all that God says or understand it…But I think that perhaps God isn’t so different from us…or more accurately, we are more like Him than we realize. They say that body language and facial expression is 90% of communication and speaking is the remaining 10%. I think that this is kind of true with God as well.
I think that God spoke loudest about 2,000 years ago. I think that the action of coming to earth in the form of Jesus Christ is really saying something. And I think that when He washed the disciple’s feet He was saying something. When He cried because of His friend Lazarus He was saying something. When He fed the 5,000 He was saying something. When He stood silently before Herod He was saying something. When He didn’t stop Pontius Pilate from condemning Him, He was saying something. When He was nailed to the cross He was saying something…the message was loud and clear…He was saying, “I love you. All of you.”
I’m sort of bad at listening. I tend to listen to myself more than anything else…but as I continue to try and follow God, His voice keeps echoing in my head over and over again. “I love you.”…I don’t understand much…but I do understand that, and I am trying to listen closer. And as I listen I‘m praying…and this is my prayer: “Speak, for your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:10) Amen.