Searching for Fear and Finding Shelter

I’ve always been enthralled by storms. There’s something about the drop in pressure, the winds blowing in from the distance carrying the icy temperatures from the mountains--the brilliant flash of light in the distance followed by a low rumble. There’s power in storms and to stand in a high place, facing the wind and feeling the raw force pushing me, along with the electric feel in the air brings a joy and unexplainable comfort. There is something stronger than me out there. There is someone stronger than me behind the wind.

***

The storm had snuck up on us. While we’d been watching clouds form up on the horizon, rising like an atomic bomb had gone off in the distance, more clouds had approached us from behind. The winds had been present all afternoon, but their sudden absence warned us of the impending danger. The thunder finally told us where to look, and by that point it was too late. We were going to get wet.
As soon as we realized our situation we sent the campers down the mountain and started to pack up. Kylee and I raced each other pulling the ropes to the top of the rock face just like we did usually did, but this time a small element of fear spurred us on too. She won. Typical. The winds picked up again just as suddenly as they had stopped but this time there was an icy edge to them that cut to the bone. Shortly after the cutting wind picked up, great drops of rain pelted down sporadically from the heavens; a warning of what was to come.
We scrambled down from the top of the Rock, a cliff 120 feet high that we‘d rappel kids off of. Steve was waiting eagerly with the packs. I tossed the ropes I’d carried from the top to him and started wrapping the guideline.
I had my back to the storm. My hat was threatening to fly off of my head because of the wind and I could feel as much as see the lightning striking more and more frequently around me.
“Look behind you.” Steve said through the whirlwind. “That wall of water is going to hit us in about 30 seconds. Wrap fast!” I did wrap fast. “Faster Palmer! Pick up the pace Olson!” his voice had a smile behind it as if the fact that we could be struck by lightning were a pleasant prospect. Oddly enough I could share in his excitement, and when I looked behind me to see the white sheet of water pushing its way towards me I smiled too. The water reached us about 30 seconds later, just like Steve had predicted. I finished stuffing the ropes into the pack and then flinched as the water and wind lashed about me.
“God is big!” I yelled above the winds. Then a white flash blinded me as lightning struck in the distance. I tossed the 40 pound pack down to Kylee and she caught it while the wind and water started to plaster her hair to her face. Steve looked up at Kylee and I and gave a howl. We both followed suit, Kylee sounding like a wolf, and started our way down the slippery mountain pass.
The rock wall was on our right as we traveled down the mountain, and it blocked most of the wind and rain. Actually, at this point of the hike down it was relatively calm. Of course we knew this wasn’t the truth of the matter; thunder could be heard every few seconds, and the water rising to about our ankles reminded us that we were very much in the middle of a storm. But, the wind wasn’t beating on us at the moment and we were able to talk to each other as we shuffled carefully down the trail.
“See guys. I told you it happens quick.” Steve said. “Now you’ve got a story to tell!” Somehow he still found this experience to be funny. A brilliant flash turned my sight to white and a fraction of a second later a crackling blast echoed through my eardrums. I didn’t think this experience was that funny. In fact, I had never been so scared in my life.

***

They say that fear is the beginning of knowledge. More specifically, the fear of the Lord.
There are only a few times in my life that I can truly say I’ve been scared, or experienced fear; Like the time I walked away from my mom’s cart in the grocery store, probably distracted by some flashy flier trying to sell me vitamins. All I did was let go of my mom’s cart and walk off, but when I realized I’d been separated I just freaked out and screamed at the top of my little 5 year old lungs and cried. My mom was one aisle over and started laughing because she’d been watching the whole time. Or there was the time when I was 7 years old fishing with my dad. I was a big boy and went to the bathroom all by myself…in the port-a-potty. When I closed the door it locked…and when I couldn’t get the door unlocked, I screamed…well, who wouldn’t get scared when stuck in a port-a-potty. My dad rushed over thinking I’d fallen in and pried open the door. I felt stupid afterwards…but I can’t tell you of a time that I truly feared the Lord.
There are four Gospels in the New Testament of the Bible: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Each of them records Jesus’ resurrection. Matthew ends with the two Marys praising God, grabbing Jesus’feet, and worshipping him. Luke’s account shows Mary, Mary, and Joanna going to the tomb and finding it empty. They go tell the disciples and no one believes them. John ends with Jesus appearing to Mary Magdalene and telling her not to be sad. She complies and tells all the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”.
What gets me is the ending of the resurrection scene in Mark. Its different than all the rest. In this account they don’t see Jesus; only a man in white…probably an angel. He tells them not to be alarmed and to go tell the disciples what they have seen. Instead of going out and telling everyone, “I have seen the Lord!” It says, “And they went out and fled from the tomb, for trembling and astonishment had seized them, and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.” Mark 16:8. I’ve always been puzzled by that. What does that even mean? Jesus was alive…yet they ran in fear. According to Proverbs this is the beginning of knowledge.

***

“Alright. Here in about 10 seconds we aren’t going to be protected by the Rock anymore. Make sure you keep good footing, have your hands free, and go slow. Fluid motions guys.” Steve’s advice reached Kylee and I, and as we rounded a turn in the trail, we saw the wall of water reappear in front of us. That’s where the Rock ended.

***

So I started thinking about what made those women run from the tomb that day. Why did they run away? And then I remembered Psalm 29, and how it describes God like a storm, and it clicked. If Jesus was alive, it meant that He had successfully faced the Almighty storm of God’s wrath and come back to tell about it. That meant that Jesus was everything He claimed to be: The Son of God. That meant that the Marys had been in the very presence of God and survived. He was stronger than the storm of death. That is truly frightening to think of.

C.S. Lewis says it well when he speaks of Aslan wrestling with Lucy:

It was such a romp as no one has ever had except in Narnia; and whether it was more like playing with a thunderstorm or playing with a kitten Lucy could never make up her mind. And the funny thing was that when all three finally lay together panting in the sun the girls no longer felt in the least tired or hungry or thirsty.
“And now,” said Aslan presently, “to business. I feel I am going to roar. You had better put your fingers in your ears.”
And they did. And Aslan stood up and when he opened his mouth to roar his face became so terrible that they did not dare to look at it. And they saw all the trees in front of him bend before the blast of his roaring as grass bends in a meadow before the wind.
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe – Chapter 15

God is the storm…and He is the one who faced the storm. He is the one who blocked the wind and rain. He is God Almighty, and it is frightening to hear Him roar. The Mary’s were scared because they realized that they had been keeping company with the storm-maker and the Rock that blocks the storm the whole time.

I think I understand their reaction now, and have a little insight into what Proverbs talks about when it says that fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. I know who is behind the wind, and I know who blocks me from it--they are one and the same.